so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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