the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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