Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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