I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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