Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
