I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
