I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
