do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
