He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
