she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
