you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
