i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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