if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
