butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
