yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
