She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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