He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
