Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
