I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
MIDGETS
????
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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