You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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