angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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