What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
