i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
