Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
