Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
