I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
