Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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