hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
