Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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