Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
