My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She even gives head with a lisp.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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