Are we in a gay sports bar?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
