I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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