well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
