He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
