You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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