Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
