you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
