and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
