Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
