I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
