I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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