we're blogging at a bar
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
