Old men and throwing up are my life now.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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