when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
