Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
