my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
