Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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