whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
this beer tastes like vomit already
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just found puke in my bra..
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
