angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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