hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
