she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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