I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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