I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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