Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
