so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
