they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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