also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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