I want you more than these girls want KFC
We got so high we made milksteak
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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