New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
